(no subject)

[Disclamer: The following is a parody of a joke. It didn't actually happen.]

I was walking across the bridge on Forbes the other day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."

"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Are you a student?"

He said, "Yes."

I said, "Me too. Do you go to CMU or Pitt?"

"CMU."

"Me too. Which school?"

"SCS."

"Me too. Do you do theory or systems?"

"Systems."

"Wow. Me too. Do you like compiled languages or scripting languages?"

"Scripting languages."

"Me too. Are you a Perl user or a Python user?"

"Perl."

"Me too. Perl 5, or Perl 6?"

He said: "Perl 6."

I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

With apologies to Emo Phillips.